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girlie_1475

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forever [27 Aug 2009|08:44pm]
[ mood | enraged ]

Well. I haven't used this in 229 weeks. livejournal told me so. I would continue not using it if I didn't feel so completely helpless and out of control in my own life. but, i suppose we can't always be in control so it's prolly normal to some degree. I am absolutely sick of everything lately. the past year has been rough. i try and try and try, then try some more and everything that i work towards is thrown under a bus. i plan to get things accomplished then when the day comes, i've 4 steps behind where i initially started and now have to change directions completely. i decided to go back to school. about damn time many would say. i suppose even i agree with that to an extent. i mean, i know i'm intelligent and a quick learner, why do i have to get a paper and spend $40k for everyone else to think it and give me a decent paying job? that's where i have beef. although i'm a vegetarian. well partially at least.

school. school is stressing me out beyond belief. and i've only been in school for a week. i think it's mostly that i'm just second guessing my ability to go to school that stresses me out. because even in class i catch myself thinking to myself, i know the answer to this, but i don't raise my hand because i'm afraid i'm wrong. then when the answer is said aloud i was right all along. school will get better, this i have complete confidence in.

work. work is a double edged sword. i LOVE the people i work with. to no end. i work with some of the greatest people i've met in a long time. also, i get health insurance. BIG bonus being as i hadn't had it in years. so i thoroughly enjoy that. however, now with the recession, or with the place i work, i am making no money. none. i talk to people at other places and they still do decent. better than i'm doing at least. and it's rough. i am caught between a rock and a hard place because my pocketbook says to leave the shit hole. but my heart says stick it out.

jesse. jesse is my boyfriend. my companion. my heart. he is my everything. i've grown to love that boy beyond all kinds of belief. when he is around my mood changes. my thought process changes. i become a whole new person, in a good way. he makes me feel like all that matters in the world is us. but then, when he's not around, i'm a psycho. ya know the saying, absence makes the heart grow fonder? not in my position. absence is making me wanna gut him like a fish. anything he says to me on the phone sounds sarcastic and like a lie. he doesn't think before he acts so his actions seem like complete bullshit towards our relationship. i would give the boy my kidney in a heartbeat if needed. bone marrow. you got it. but he treats our relationship like we're kids. in jr high or something. where you call the girl a couple times a week maybe. never go see her. then hope she's still around. of course she is. girls are naive and they'll be there waiting in the bleachers for you after practice. it's like really? you're 26. pull your shit together and start taking care of things. your job sucks. face it. keep trying to get another one and actually make an attempt to save some money to get a junk car and leave that hell hole. who cares if you're indebted to this man. he can't give you hours to pay him off, does he expect you to wait around? no dude. you have bills to pay. a kid to support. a girlfriend whom you barely are gonna see now because you won't make an effort to drive the 40 mins to her house even though she did it 4 or 5 days a week. even when she had to work at 8 a.m. she'd spend the night and leave at 7 a.m. to make it to work on time. but you. nope. you're tired you don't have the car. you don't have gas money for the car. what's the point in coming out for just a few hours? ugh. your mentality disgusts me. you don't know how to take the other person's feelings into consideration ever. and truthfully i'm getting awfully fed up with it. i have said it for two years and trust me, i will not stick around 2 more without changes. put forth some effort or i'm out. i cannot handle it. and i hope not because i will lose the greatest love i've ever of had. you are my everything. i can't imagine life without you. it'll be one far far away though. that's for damn sure.

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aaahhh [01 Apr 2005|02:55am]
[ mood | tired ]

I love Jonathan. Yes, still.

*Jamie*

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wondering [06 Feb 2005|10:01pm]
[ mood | sad ]

I don't quite understand how my life is going right now, or even remotely close to what it will be like in the next 4 months. I want so badly just to have that one person in my life who means more to me than anything, but that's not happening. I want things to change. Laurel and I aren't friends, we've both grown in numerous ways and I wouldn't know where to begin to explain that all. And as or Corey and I, who knows. I just feel like I often miss him more than he misses me. Now, when I try to talk to him he seems uninterested. I guess he and I have grown on different level and probably aren't friends anymore either. I couldn't tell you to be honest. I really really miss him. He gives me a sense that everything will be okay when I tell him what is going on in my life. He was my best friend. At school I have Brittany now, thanks so much Britt for everything you've been there for me to see me through. I am so happy you're here. Ashley and I are closer than ever and without her right now I don't know where I'd be. Without Whitney I don't know where I'd be either for that matter, I don't know how I would have made it through first semester. Although I don't think anyone here has seen me cry, well maybe once I feel like, I am very happy they were here to be with me, regardless if they knew I was upset or not. And as for right now, I still cannot put Jonathan out of my mind. I go to school and see Andrew, but he's not Jonathan. Nowhere near Jonathan. Then, there's Nic. Well, unless I'm looking for random sex he'll do me no good. And that concludes that. Well, then there was Brian, but he lives in Tempe and isn't interested. Lucky me. He's the only one worth considering anything with. He's so nice, if only I could find that here. Jonathan and I need time apart, I do agree, but wow, I never throught it'd kill me this bad. I mean, 2 weeks is my max without talking to him then usually one of us breaks down, well we're going on like 3 so you can only imagine how I'm feeling. LoL as bad as that is, I can't take life without speaking to him. I wish we could be friends. I wish I could handle just being friends. I sit here alone in my room wondering why I can't be with him? Why can't I just move home and be with him? If being happy in life is the only thing that matters, then that's what I want to do. I want to move home and be with him forever. I never want to be without him. It's almost as without him I feel alone in life. I have all these great people around me who care about me, but knowing that he doesn't is what hurts the most. One day I know I'll be happy, but with the past year and a half looking the way it was, I can only hope I become stronger. Thank you to all of my friends who are there for me, I love you all.

*Jamie Nicole*

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[23 Jan 2005|10:34pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

ihave so muchto sayand don't know how to say itall.my space bar isstill broken to bare with it,idon't have the patience to fix all of this. my life is so different right nowfrom where iwant it tobe. i knowit's timeto let go, but i really just want to talk to you and saygood-bye. why is it okay foryou to say goodbye, buti can't? always happens this way. i want to be friends still, but i don't thinkwe're ready for that. "You hurt me more than I deserve, how can you be so cruel? I love you more than you deserve, why am I such a fool?" i think i'm gonna write you a letter, please read it.

thank you for reading. i'm too tired and i'll start crying if i continue. goodnight.

- Jamie Nicole =)

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update [09 Dec 2004|09:31pm]
[ mood | relieved ]

so, i need to update i hear, well i think i'm switching to the blog entries on my myspace.com. here's the link.... http://profiles.myspace.com/users/7274215 so enjoy and i'm sorry i'm leaving! i'll miss you guys but keep in touch kay? love ya, bye!

Love Always,
Jamie Nicole =)

I'm A Slave 4 U

I know I may be young but I've got feelings too
And I need to do what I feel like doing
So let me go and just listen

All you people look at me like I'm a little girl
Well did you ever think it'd be ok for me to step into this world?
Always saying, "Little girl, don't step into the club"
Well I'm just tryin' to find out why, 'cause dancing's what I love, yeah
Get it, get it, get it, get it
Get it, get it, get it, get it
Get it, get it, get it, get it
I know I may come off quiet
I may come off shy
But I feel like talkin', feel like dancin' when I see this guy
What's practical, what's logical, what the hell, who cares
All I know is I'm so happy when you're dancing there

CHORUS

I'm a slave for you
I cannot hold it, I cannot control it
I'm a slave for you
I won't deny it, I'm not trying to hide it

Baby, don't you wanna dance up on me
To another time and place
Oh, baby, don't you wanna dance up on me
Leaving behind my name and age
Like that. You like that?
Yeah. Now watch me
Get it, get it, get it, get it
Get it, get it, get it, get it
Get it, get it, get it, get it
I really wanna dance tonight with you
I really wanna do what you want me to
I really wanna dance tonight with you
I really wanna do what you want me to
Baby, don't you wanna dance up on me
To another time and place
Oh, baby, don't you wanna dance up on me
Leaving behind my name and age

CHORUS - repeat

Get it, get it, get it, get it
Get it, get it, get it, get it
Get it, get it, get it, get it
Get it, get it, get it, get it
Get it, get it, get it, get it
Get it, get it, get it, get it

CHORUS - repeat

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tennessee [01 Dec 2004|10:34pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]

so, jonathan is moving to tennessee the rumor is. who knows. i don't know if it's true or not.. no one does.

also, i tried calling joe the other day, and he didn't answer as usual, so i deleted all his numbers out of my phone. i was proud too.

also need to get my space bar fixed. this is getting ridiculous.

well, i have to get some sleep, if my spacebar worked i would type more. sorry.

love,
jamie nicole =)

1 comment|post comment

stressed [29 Nov 2004|08:58pm]
[ mood | stressed ]

today is my birthday. and i'm stressed out. the world is changing around me, and i don't know what to do. where am i going with my life?

jamie nicole =/

1 comment|post comment

wednesday/thursday [24 Nov 2004|12:44am]
[ mood | sick ]

Dear all -

I am writing to let you all know that i will be in mesa for the weekend, and oddly enough, i'm excited about it. hmmm. also, jonathan and i are talking. on another note, i will not see brittney all weekend because she will be in ohio. have fun honey! i got andrew's number today after spanish, so we can get together this weekend, find a party or something. and he's probably not coming back next semester, because he's getting his license taken away. damn kids. geeze. i have no spanish partner now. i must find a replacement. new goal. then, i have an 8 a.m. class next semester, did i tell you that? shitty aye? i think so. "sex, some people have it anonomously." - family guy. haha! good shit right there. And, to all of you who forgot, my birthday is monday, just for an update. and no one is online right now, that sucks. also, my space bar doesn't quite work, so i have to go back and make spaces, or just hit it as hard as i can. hm, alyssa and i still haven't called F-IXED the thing on campus, you know. want to know why? here's a list...

1. i have no shelf in my medicine cabinet
2. alyssa's fell out
3. 2 of our vertical blinds broke, and 2 more are on the verge of breaking
4. my desk drawer, as of today, came off the track and will not open. i tried to fix it. no luck
5. our sink still drips sometimes
6. our wall/ceiling leaks and water runs down the wall and drips from the ceiling when it rains/snows.

that's all i can think of, i think that's it. ridiculous i tell ya. well, i must sleep, for we have to drive to mesa in 0800 hours **that's 8 hours, i don't know if that's how to really say it**

love always and forever,
jamie nicole =)

i get to see corey in 13ish hours!

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test [22 Nov 2004|11:09pm]
[ mood | satisfied ]

well, jonathan gave me the test of a lifetime that took me FOREVER to figure out! I seriously was looking up movie scripts all damn day and didn't do my homework in turn. but i finally got the answer to the riddle, although, he's not answering me now, since i put it in the IM. who knows. but i got it and that's all that matters. hopefully he'll talk to me about it. but i'm doing this thing for him, cuz of our conversation last night. it's really really corny, but i like it. and it's worth it to me. although i spent a decent amount of money on it now, and i have more to do once i get it still. i won't get it until the end of next week. hopefully. then i have to start actually doing the rest of it so he gets it. hmmm... fine by me. i think it's cute at least. anyway, i'm off to bed. so i'll see you later. night.

love always,
jamie nicole =)

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love [22 Nov 2004|02:16am]
[ mood | confused ]

To Jonathan -

i guess the only reason you would have to still love me is because you still want to.

Love Jamie

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[22 Nov 2004|12:35am]
[ mood | confused ]

corey -

Jamie: I'm afraid you already think i'm different
Corey: i dunno
Corey: i don't think you're different
Corey: i think we are different

maybe we have changed? maybe i'm going to hang out with you and we're going to realize we can't be friends anymore because we've both changed so much. But, if that happens, then we never did have a true friendship. i mean, true friendship can withstand anything right? at least that's what they tell me. maybe we are just two different people now, but who knows. i mean, there have been times when i've thought to myself, "wow, who are you now?" and i'm sure that goes the same way. but who knows. you're my best friend and i don't want us to just not be friends because we never get to see each other. but at the same time, if we both have changed too much, then, we won't be able to be friends anymore. you mean a lot to me, more than even i know probably. and everytime i do get pissed at you and think, "i'm just not going to call him anymore" we end up talking or something and i remember why we are as good of friends as we are. then everything makes sense. but there are times when i'd like to strangle you, don't get me wrong. i mean, who can still be friends after everything we've been through? not many people, if we've made it this far we're bound to stay friends then, right? rrriiight? i really miss you. i love you so much and i hope that nothing changes between us, i love being your best friend.

love always,
jamie nicole

so, last night i went to the dance club and nic was at the bar across the street, so we talked outside a couple times and it was so weird. he was acting so weird, so interested. who knows. then i swore i heard him talking today at work about how he wanted a real girlfriend, ha. that's funny. he wouldn't be able to hold down a real girlfriend, not without cheating on her that is. who knows though. maybe he could and i'm just giving him the bad part of it. i don't know.

but i'm gonna go, i'm talking to jonathan for a bit then going to sleep. night everyone.

jamie nicole =)

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this time i think it could be perfect [16 Nov 2004|11:56pm]
[ mood | bored ]

well, i hate updating lately, not fun.

uhm, i have a TON of homework lately, that i have no ambition to do. NONE. Also, i just want to go to Mesa. and you're right, i never thought either that i'd say those words. i want to see everyone. and i really wanna see corey and i found out that he's leaving next thursday and so i'm ONLY going to get to see him on weds. so, sorry everyone! i'm spending weds with corey.. you can come too, but for SURE him. i'm so mad. fucker. haha. anyway. and i wanna see my new apartment, and my mommy, and laurel, and brittany, and ashley, and jana, and jennifer, and kristin, and everyone! i'm super excited. i'm gonna work at the egg and i on friday and sunday, so i can go out on friday night. **request off now!** we're gonna party like it's 1999! woo hoo! and go to applebee's because we don't have one up here. and that kinda sucks. being that it's one of my fave restaurants ever! hmmm.... work sucks. as usual. hmmm.... haven't talked to joe lately. nor steve. jonathan's good. cat's good, kinda. i only have 4 more days of school until thanksgiving break! how awesome is that!? woo hoo! and then only 2 more weeks of school until i go down to mesa again for christmas! yes! and then only another week and a half until i go to Chicago!!!!!!! I CANNOT WAIT! I'm gonna have lori give me my tattoo and i'm going to hang out with everyone! and i'm going to party it up for new year's! woot! can't wait. yes.

well, i'm tired, so i'm out. have a splendid evening. gnight.

love always,
jamie nicole =)

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update [08 Nov 2004|05:07pm]
[ mood | indifferent ]

i was told i should update. eh, why not. nothing much is going on. i have a bunch of homework i have to do today, so, nothing new there. i didn't go to spanish class today, so i have to catch up on all that was due today that i didn't do, being the reason i didn't go to class.

jonathan and i are, who knows sometimes. we talked today and i always feel like we're fighting, or on the verge or fighting. who knows. i miss him, i really really do, but i don't want it to be ALL about us when i'm there, i want to just hang out with him. not worry about what either of us are gonna think when i go home. i just wanna hang out as friends. and not worry what the other is doing when we're not around one another. i just, wanna have fun. and hang out.

i got a phone call today, from hot steve bakowski! haha. he's moving back home, i was awfully surprised. he wants to try to get on the chicago police department. crazy i think. awfully crazy. he leaves this weekend, so we're gonna be able to hang out when i go out there! i miss public works, it was so much fun. i loved it. awe, good times, great oldies.

i talked to joe, don't know if i ever put that in here, but i talked to him. weird huh? but, we haven't talked since we talked. i don't know what is going on with us talking, but i'm gonna try to see him while i'm at home as well. i want to know why he's an asshole. that'd be a good start to a new friendship. definitely. def def definitely, definitely would be.

cat is my best friend and she's so far away! enough of this business.

so i'm thinking of moving back to IL after college, but not steger/s. heights area. like, naperville area. more like that. something richer and nice and fun. and there's a college in naperville and it's rich and expensive, but i'm sure i could find a job there, i think so at least. yes i do.

i hate arizona though. who wants to live here?

well i'm off i suppose.

Love Always,
Jamie Nicole =)

2 comments|post comment

[01 Nov 2004|11:47pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

VOTE KERRY

Things are alright i guess right now.  Jonathan and I got in a fight about voting he said he wasn't going to because, "it doesn't affect him"  wtf.  how lame is that?  it was like we were married.  I don't care it's his stupid self.  He'll be the one off to war.  good luck with that in life.

I have to go to math class tomorrow probably alone because Lisette isn't going, well, she is in Phoenix, but she'll be back in the morning, so she just doesn't know what time.  That's gonna suck.

Brittany is coming in 2 days!  I'm so excited!  We're gonna have so much fun together, I really miss hanging out with her.  and Corey is coming in 5 days!  Hopefully, i really hope he does cuz i wanna hang out with him.  he might only be able to come if Elgin's girlfriend can come too.  I mean, it's cool by me, i don't really care, but it'll be awfully crowded.  Oh well! 

Well, i'm gonna get going, i have some sleep to attend to.  Goodnight and good luck voting tomorrow.  Whoever you vote for, at least you're voting!

Love Always,
Jamie Nicole =)

 

3 comments|post comment

snow [28 Oct 2004|04:13pm]
[ mood | loved ]

so, last night it was snowing, cuz it had been raining ALL day. well, i guess someone thought it'd be fun to play with fire extinguishers, and the fire alarm went off at 4:30 a.m. and we had to stand outside in the snow for like 30 minutes. then in the lobby for another 10 because it was on my floor just down the hall. then, i finally got back to sleep around 6 a.m. and had to get up at 8:30 a.m. i was awfully upset. So, another snow story you ask? sure! why not, i'm on a roll. today i'm sitting at my computer, minding my own business, and alyssa's like, "hey, the football players are having a snowball fight" oh neat, we look, and i'm like, oh, that's eric, kj, and whoever else was there. well, then they must've noticed me cuz all of a sudden snowballs, thrown by FOOTBALL players were pelting my window. i was like, "uh, aaahhh!" then i said to stop please, and kj says, "is that jamie!?" and they all throw a couple more and to my surprise, they cracked my mother fucking window in half. the top half is cracked off from the bottom half. so, it sucks. and we don't know when we're getting our own window now.. a new one that is. so, yea. a little upset.

wow, jonathan still makes me happy. i had the cutest dream about us, *awe!* it was cute. and he misses me and i miss him. i can't wait to see him when i go there in... 2 months from today! yea, that'll be good.

well, i have to work soon, so i'll write later...

Love Always,
Jamie Nicole =)

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[24 Oct 2004|12:31am]
[ mood | drunk ]

well. life. it ain't easy. it's so tough. it ain't easy. i'm tired. and intoxicated. and bored. i want to get some sleep, but i'm expecting a phone call. =0) he's a cutie! but i don't want anything serious to come of him, he's not like that. you know what i mean right? the matt type. that's what he is. oh well. who knows anymore. i'm so bored. my roommate is on the phone with her sister and talking about ian; i'm glad she doesn't like him anymore, him snoring was about aggravating. yes indeed it was. i do have to say so myself. fo sho. laurel and fronc might come visit me this weekend, i'm so excited! i miss fronc and laurel! and laurel and i need to talk, i miss her a lot. we're good friends who haven't spoken in a while.... like real spoken ya know? well.... ye.... i'm out. peace homies. bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

love always,
jamie nicole =)

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10 Things I Love About You [20 Oct 2004|03:07pm]
[ mood | relieved ]

Here's my words to my 10 people . . . . .

Keep in mind these are in no particular order, actually quite random . . . . .

1. You and I have gotten quite close lately. When the times that no one else believes you, i do. i wish that things were different and you weren't going through everything you're going through in life, but you are, and it sucks. if i could be there for you i would, but for now the phone will have to do. you mean a lot to me and hopefully we'll stay friends for a long time to come.

2. you. you. you. we have had so many laughs together and i don't know where i'd be without you. i honestly probably would have moved back to illinois by now if i hadn't had you. lately, we haven't been what we used to be but i know that you're still such an important person in my life, even if i don't show it that often you are, and i love you bunches. "and will you tell all your friends, you've got your gun to my head."

3. wow! you were my very first friend in arizona. we used to hang out everyday and i miss those days. but, we've been through some good times, inventing fat-free ranch being one of them. you are so awesome and even though your heart was recently broken, you will be better. he's a jerk and you can do so much better than him. let cooter know thad misses her. love you.

4. well there aren't enough words in all the languages in the world to describe what you mean to me. we have been best friends for all too long now and without you my life would be incomplete, and i mean that from the bottom of my heart. i love you with all my heart and hope and pray that we stay best friends forever, i mean, we've made it this far haven't we?

5. jack in the box. that's all i have to say about you. haha. you are the best. honestly, the best. no matter what happens between us i will never look at you any less than that. don't ever forget that. although i've been fed up with you at one time or another for some odd reason, you mean too much to me and we've been through too much together for me to just give you up. you may be young, but you are so mature and have a good head on your shoulders. some don't realize that but you do. stop selling yourself short. you are at a rough time in life, but you'll get through it. everyone goes through it at one point or another, and i'm sorry to have to hear about you going through yours and i'm sorry i can't be there. but you'll be fine, just hang in there and don't be swayed by what everyone else keeps saying. i love you. rrrriiiiggghhhhtttt?

6. you were my first love. all of my hopes and dreams went into you. i know now we weren't meant to be together forever, but i invested a lot of me into us. i wish things hadn't changed between us, and i wish that we still talked, but we don't. we'll have to hang out sometime when i'm out there. you have a place in my heart that no one can ever fill. i wish you the best of luck with everything that you're doing in your life. i heard you're going to college, i'm so proud of you. words cannot express how happy i am for you. i hope you do something with your life because you have so much potential that even you don't see sometimes. good luck and i will always love you.

7. Swediss Fiss! we've seen each other through the good and the bad, i hope that everything you're doing in life is for you and no one else. i wish you the best of luck making the next big decisions in life because they're tough ones. you'll succeed in life and i hope that you stay on track and know what you're doing in life. i want to hang out with you so bad. we have had some really fun times together. i'll never forget you as long as i live. especially if you marry him, you can't forget me cuz i introduced you two. good luck with him - i mean that from the bottom of my heart. soon we'll hang out and talk about all our good times. there's a lot of them. even though everyone hates us when we're together, we have fun. love ya

8. i don't know where to begin with you. I love you. i hope that in the future things go well with us and we can end up together, you make me happier than i've been in a long time and i hope that everything is well with us. you mean the world to me. i hate saying goodbye to you. i hope that that doesn't have to continue for a while - good luck to us. i can't wait to see your smile again.

9. hahaha. wow. i don't know what to say about you. and us. and whatever we had. i thought that you knew me so well, well, you do. that's how you made me feel. you knew exactly what to say to make me feel so loved by you, but in the end i was only hurt. i mean, i went to the ends of the earth because, i thought you actually cared. i thought that to you, i was different than all the others. i thought that for some reason we could actually be different and make things work. i don't know, i guess i was only fooling myself, but you hurt me in an indescribable way and can never take back the pain you caused me emotionally. thanks a lot.

10. hey! you are awesome! you have made me enjoy my time in az a lot. i love shopping with you, and drinking with you, and hanging out. we're so much fun! and i've made my biggest shopping splurges with you, but it was well worth it. you have an awesome heart and are so beautiful. even though you two aren't together now, i hope you are okay with everything. you needed time to be independent and have fun on your own. good luck with that. i love you and miss you so much.

okay, now i know i'm only supposed to have 10 - but i'm going to have 12.

11. you are perfect. no other word could have described you. you had a wonderful life ahead of you, but God had a different plan for you. i'm glad to have known you and hope to see you again some day. i miss you more than i could ever say. i love you so much and wish i could still see you. maybe one day. one day.

12. this is for my new friends all in one. i haven't known you guys that long, but i love you. sincerely and honestly i mean this. i'm so thankful i've met you all and i'm super excited to see where our friendship takes us. my love to all of you.

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Try This [19 Oct 2004|11:47pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Write ten statements intended towards 10 different people. Write about something you would never say to his/her face or something that you wish you would have said, but didn't. There is no need to tell the person it was about him/her, but if the courage is there, do it.

I'll get back to you on it.

jamie nicole =)

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ugh [17 Oct 2004|01:16am]
[ mood | lonely ]

i'm so alone. will someone help me through my life?





why can't i find someone to love me?



no one does.



i want someone so bad.


jamie

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shut up [10 Oct 2004|11:36pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

ian is snoring so fucking loud i want to stab him in his sleep. fucking alyssa, tell him to GO HOME! he's so fucking loud. i've been trying to sleep for like, 40 minutes with no luck. i'm so angry right now. i want to die. shut up.

aaaaahhhhh!

the boy i work with is cute... in a cocky sorta way.

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